English conversational lessons are not like chats down the pub

The three-level structured conversation

Most people are not quite sure what to expect from English conversational lessons, or they simply have the wrong impression.

I’m going to explain the real power of learning English conversationally.

Of course, learning through conversation is only one component to the students journey to English fluency, but it’s a big component, just as sparring is a big component of a boxer’s preparation for a fight (see my article Conversational sparring). Boxers and other fighters might spend a lot of time on technical moves and positions. However. with no sparring, which is essentially fight practice, a boxer won’t have the confidence for a real fight. In the same way, an English student who just studies grammar and vocabulary, won’t know what to do when they get into a real conversation.

Not like chats down the pub

The UK has a fascinating pub culture, in Ireland it’s even more intriguing.

Pubs are where you go to meet people in your local area, your community, meet your mates, have a family gathering, or just hang out. A lot of talking and conversing goes on in pubs. But as an English learner if you found yourself in a pub, while it would be a great experience to hear real-life English being spoken, no one in a pub is going to correct your English, guide you through the intricate and subtle meanings of words and expressions, explain grammatical structures and when to use them or not, or correct your pronunciation or accent. You may be talking and conversing in real-life English, and this will certainly help you over time to improve, and learn how British people speak, the jokes they make, the banter they have, and the slang and vernacular they use, but you may still struggle in many areas of English.

By contrast, in English conversational lessons, a teacher can invite and guide you through conversations in a way that you learn new vocabulary, correct grammatical forms, or how to pronounce words, and with the right accent, and what soft skills are necessary to communicate in a given environment, or using the correct register — that’s the way of speaking appropriate to a specific situation, say officially or unofficially, with or without slang terms, formally or informally.

Britain in general has a lot of unspoken codes of speech and behaviour, which we navigate using our soft skills. These are the skills of knowing what to say and when and to whom, knowing what not to say and why, and rather what to say in that same situation, how to read a room, that is the energy and mood of a room, so you may be aware of how you might address your audience in that room, what to say and not to say.

Soft skills in English can vary significantly to those in other cultures and languages.

Not a passive conversation

Another mistaken impression a lot of people have about English conversational lessons is that they unconsciously assume they're more passive than they really are.

However, English conversational lessons are far from passive affairs. A learner shouldn’t expect that the teacher will just tell them and give them everything to do, and they can be a passive participant in the lesson. There are good reasons behind this that I explain in my article How to approach English conversational lessons.

Rather, the mindset of the learner should be what can I talk about with the teacher, what interesting events, situations, and interests from my life can I describe so the teacher will have the opportunity to hear me speaking English in a completely natural way on many subjects, so they can correct my mistakes, or suggest new words and expressions, as I describe these things. This is a fundamental mindset for conversational English lessons. Of course, the teacher may direct the conversation, but if the student is an unwilling conversational partner, it can be like getting blood out of a stone, and that’s simply not a natural dynamic for language use.

The teacher’s main task is to create a space where the learner is at ease to start speaking about many things and themself, without fear of judgment, and without shame. This is important, as in the real world, learners may need their English in all eventualities, to describe any aspect of their life, share complex thoughts and ideas, and describe complex situations and events. You can’t train to do these things by having textbook-style conversations in your conversational English lessons. That would be like a boxer who’s trained to fight against someone who’s only ever moving backwards, and only throwing one type of punch. As a conversational English learner you must prepare for all eventualities and feel the emotions behind the language that you use, so your whole body and mind system is prepared at the neurological level for real world conversational experiences.

Finally, the learner should always be willing to ask questions. They should have a critical and questioning mindset. Once the teacher has made clear that the lesson space is for the learner to feel at ease to play and experiment in the language, and to explore and discover, then it will gradually become easier for the learner to get into the habit of asking probing questions, and being critical, asking hard questions, such as in what contexts a specific word can be used, and why not other contexts, or how often and why a specific idiom is used, and how useful it is to commit that idiom or expression to memory, or what a native English speaker would naturally say in a given context. It’s vitally important in language learning to ask what native speakers naturally say in certain contexts, as this is the way your language can best evolve to fluency. In short, the more a learner is critically engaged in the process of learning, the more effectively they can learn overtime.

Get comfortable asking the native speaking teacher: “What would you naturally say in the same situation?”

The three-level structured conversations

This brings me to the heart of the matter in this article.

The magic of the English conversational lesson happens through the three-level structured conversation.

This is my unique way of visualising how an English conversational lesson can be structured. When we can visualise the way something abstract is structured, the easier it becomes understanding and working with that idea. After all, a conversational English lesson is rather abstract. It can mean different things to different people. And it’s truly abstract in the sense that you can’t hold an English conversational lesson in your hand, like a material object, and say, hey, look, this is an English conversational lesson.

Let’s visualise the conversational English lesson as composed of three levels.

At the first level, we have a natural conversation going on. The kind of conversation you might even have down the pub, or a conversation about how to learn a language, or about some interesting challenge or experience you are having at work. Here, the idea is to stimulate a real world conversation. However, when the English learner gets stuck at the first level, they are lacking the right word, or searching for a term or expression, or they can’t find the right grammatical form, we can drop down to the second level.

At the second level, we pause the natural conversation at the first level, so we may now give our full attention and focus to establishing the right word, expression, or grammatical term. This is vitally important, as this conscious shift is what cogntively primes us to learn the new language items. Of course, the teacher should lead this process. Sometimes they will rapidly identify a word for the learner just based on the context. This is what a native English speaking teacher should be highly skilled at. Sometimes, they may need to check online for a correct technical, legal, or academic term. Or they may just need to give a hint to which grammatical form to use. At this point, the learner can return to the first level, and continue the conversation where they left off. However, if the word or term is particularly difficult or abstract for the student to familiarise themselves with or remember, or the grammatical form is overly complex, this is the moment to go to the third level.

At the third level, the teacher can explain the etymology or origin of a word, expression, or idiom, and give a deeper, more comprehensive explanation of a grammatical structure and the principles governing its use. At the third level, both learner and teacher may agree on some deeper work that needs to be done whether on vocabulary or grammar. This can then be prescribed as homework, or a portion of the lesson could be dedicated to that alone.

However, for the three-level structured conversation to work, the most important thing is nurturing the psychological skills that enable us to converse in this way. I explain this in detail in an my upcoming article Why 90% of language learning is psychological. Suffice to say here, that self-awareness is key to the ability of conversing well. We cannot simply allow our egos to speak without any self-reflection, we must nurture the ability and intuition that allows us to observe ourselves speaking. This ability is what allows us to pause during conversation and take guidance and instruction from the teacher, in order to speak with greater accuracy and fluency.

To unlock the three-level conversation, we must embrace our ability to be self-aware to the point that it becomes intutive and natural.

Given time, I can ensure English conversational learners that this is how they will get the most out of conversations with a native speaking teacher, while not behaving like you're just having a chat down the pub.

Enjoy!